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August 6, 2004
James Bond
epitomizes the modern manly hero, all about love and nothing about
marrying. Big screen or small screen, Hollywood romance bypasses the
altar and goes straight for the bedroom.
This is hardly
new. Since the dawn of human history, the foot-loose and fancy-free
male has always been a part of the landscape. What has changed in
today’s world is his apparent total lack of interest in “settling
down” in front of the homestead hearth with wife and children…a
family.
Bond is not alone
in his quest for independence. Everything in America seeks to
convince us that marriage is an anachronism, like scuffed shoes thrown
in the back of the closet waiting to be tossed out with the next
spring cleaning. Why would any young person, especially a young man,
want to get married, we ask ourselves.
A recent study has
tackled that very question. And it has given us both surprising and
encouraging information about the marriage goals of the modern male.
Its conclusion? “Most men are ‘the marrying kind.’”
The study
underwritten by the National Marriage Project looked at men ages 25 to
34 who were married or who planned to get married. What were they
looking for in marriage? Why did they get married? Did they find
what they were looking for? Were they happy?
Yes, the study
reports, they are happy. “The overwhelming majority of married men
(94 percent) say that they are happier being married than being
single.”
As we might expect,
the men say that marriage has helped them become more financially
stable. But they also have a lesson or two to teach Bond. Because in
spite of Bond’s on-screen dalliances for sexual pleasure,
seventy-three percent of the married men in the study said that “their
sex life is better since getting married.”
In general, life
improves for men when they marry, setting them on the road to
healthier and more productive lives. Marriage is a “transformative
event.”
Men benefit from
marriage, and so do the rest of us. We benefit from men who set aside
risk-taking lives to adopt higher levels of accountability, sacrifice,
and commitment toward their wives…and toward their children.
Marriage is good
for men. Indeed, marriage is good for everyone. Married men who
commit to loving and supporting the mothers of their children form a
foundation for the future health and happiness of the next generation.
Thankfully, the
“Marrying Kind of Men” are at the forefront of efforts to define and
defend marriage. Matt Daniels, president of the Alliance for
Marriage, experienced firsthand the hardship of living without his
father. Daniels’s mother, abandoned by her husband, was unable to
leave crime-ridden
Harlem, where she and Matt were both violently attacked in
separate incidents.
Today Daniels leads
a broad coalition that works on a wide range of legislative
initiatives to give public support to marriages. The Alliance for
Marriage supports efforts to eliminate penalties for welfare
recipients who marry, reduce what is often called the "marriage tax'"
and make the workplace marriage-friendly.
The work to defend
marriage today is no less of a fight to save the world than James
Bond’s 1962 mission to save the world from Dr. No. Daniels and the
many other men leading the charge are the real heroes who outpace 007
in courage, character, and vision.
If the world is
truly going to survive, it will depend on the faithfulness of these
men and those who cheer them on. We owe our future to the men who
sacrifice it all…
…who put it all on
the line,
…who are content
with the thrills and chills,
…of being husbands
and fathers,
…The Marrying Kind.
Copyright © 2004 Jane Jimenez
For further
information see: The Social Health of Marriage - 2004
http://marriage.rutgers.edu/Publications/SOOU/TEXTSOOU2004.htm
Last
Week’s Question:
Q: Did Bond
ever marry?
A: James Bond
marries La Contessa Tracy de Vincenzo in the movie, On Her
Majesty’s Secret Service. However, she is killed by the
villain at the end.
See Archives
for past editorials.
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