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December 12, 2005
In the 1940s, it
was a Red Ryder BB gun…in the 1960s, a GI Joe.
In the 1980s,
when my own children ran through the house, it was a Cabbage Patch
Doll. Over the past hundred years, several hundreds of toys have made
the “most popular Christmas present” list: Crayolas, Raggedy Ann
dolls, View-master 3-D Viewer, Rubik’s cube, Mr. Potato Head, Beanie
Babies, Razor Scooter and more.
Who remembers
the must-have toy of 1996? On a web site where comments (most of
them) extol the virtues of this stuffed creature, one web writer tells
about the “loons who went to the stores at the crack of dawn to fight
the crowds to have a chance to buy a Tickle Me Elmo.”
A lot has
changed in the past hundred years. Only in
America
have toys taken on a new personality indicative of our wealth. Mr.
Potato Head, 8-1/2 inches tall and 8 inches wide, is now offered
encrusted with gems and priced at $8,000. If you want your Monopoly
set in tooled leather, be prepared to fork over $5,840.
If money is
absolutely no problem this year, parents can splurge on Microsoft’s
new Xbox 350 costing around $300…or an original Teddy Bear available
at Christie’s auction for $17,000 to $26,000….all the way up to a
$300,000 3-D motion simulator from the “Rolls-Royce of toy stores” FAO
Schwarz.
Advertised as a
replacement for friends, you can buy your child Hammacher Schlemmer’s
7-foot, remote-controlled Robby the Robot…that is…if you have a spare
$50,000. Makes a parent long for a return to 1975 and the Pet Rock
craze. Like most fads, it never totally died. There is even a web
site titled, Pet Rock Sanitarium, where you might find a
cheaper-than-cheap abandoned “pet” looking for a new home.
So…what’s hot
this year? You can bet merchandisers know. Base on one survey,
thirty-eight percent of
U.S.
teens would prefer cash for Christmas this year, followed by cell
phones or portable electronics. Other in-demand holiday gifts include
clothing and a car, according to a survey of 700 U.S. teens conducted
by Boys & Girls Clubs of America.
Engrossed as we
are at this time of year in looking for all those special ways of
bringing joy to our children, it seems fitting to look to the type of
joy that lasts beyond Christmas. That’s exactly what Otis and Elaine
Dickerson of Duluth, Georgia, did over fifty years ago.
“On December 18,
1953, on the first birthday of their baby boy Eric,” writes Benin
Dakar, “the young and determined African-American couple were married
in the modest home of Otis’ mother in a working-class
Baltimore
neighborhood.” Today in their 70s, the Dickersons talk about their
commitment to marriage as a way of providing joy and security for
their four children.
Dakar
notes that their story is worth telling in an age when “fewer and
fewer young black couples who find themselves in a ‘family way’ are
following their lead to the altar.” Indeed, statistics from the
Brookings Institute show that 70 percent of black babies are born out
of wedlock.
For the country
at large, 24 million children (34 percent) live absent their
biological father, and 40 percent of children living absent their
father have never set foot in their father’s home. The Dickersons
wanted better for their children.
Their lifelong
commitment to each other in marriage helped them through the rough
waters that all married couples will face.
Dakar
notes, “their partnership enabled them to succeed in the workplace, to
become homeowners and to rear stable and productive children.” We can
learn from Otis and Elaine. Their experience is confirmed through
many important studies on the welfare of children.
In a report
issued by the Administration for Children and Families (ACF),
important details outline the challenges facing single parent
families. “When an unwed couple has a child, the resulting family
faces heightened vulnerability to a variety of economic and social
problems affecting the couple, the parents as individuals, and the
child. In particular, there is a high risk they will be unsuccessful
in forming a sustained and close family unit. Because of these well
documented risks and the consequences of nonmarital childbearing for
parents and children, these families are now commonly called ‘fragile
families.’”
This same report
goes on to say, “research shows that children who grow p with married,
biological parents have better outcomes than children raised in a
different family structure. On average, the former are more likely to
be healthy, to complete high school, and to become economically
self-sufficient adults; and in turn, they are less likely to be
involved in drug and alcohol abuse or juvenile delinquency, or to be
come teen parents.”
At Christmas,
when we focus our eyes on what will bring joy to our children, the
best present we can give is right within reach. This is the perfect
time to recommit to our marriages. Married couples, attending
marriage seminars, kissing under the mistletoe and holding hands in
front of the hearth are building the perfect gift for their children,
a secure home today and a vision for their children of what their own
future could be.
The best
Christmas present under the tree this year will cost the least. But
its value to our children is priceless.
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For a good dose
of Christmas Cheer and fun information:
http://mymerrychristmas.com/2005/surveyteens2005.shtml
For the Most
Popular Toys of the Past 100 Years:
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/10387831/
For the Most
Expensive Toys of 2005:
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/10387451/from/RL.1/
For the full
story of Otis and Elaine Dickerson:
Benin Dakar,
“Drop in black marriages hurts families,” Atlanta
Journal-Constitution, December 12, 2005, A13.
For Report by
Administration for Children and Families: “Helping Unwed Parents Build
Strong And Healthy marriages: A Conceptual Framework For
Interventions”
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/opre/strengthen/strengthfam/reports/conceptual_framework/framework_toc.html
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