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September 19, 2005
Oral sex is a
leading story this week. The Centers for Disease Control announced
last Thursday that oral sex is a common practice among
U.S.
teens.
Once again, this
report has spawned a public response filling column inches in
newspapers and hours of air time on talk radio. Evaluating the rate
of oral sex among teens, Kristin Moore, president of Child Trends,
declares to The
Washington
Post
that, “…these numbers indicate this is a big concern.”
Indeed, radio
talk show hosts are concerned. They have picked up the story and are
talking with listeners around the country. Their listeners are
concerned. We are all concerned. But are we surprised?
Not anymore.
One decade earlier, oral sex was a term largely confined to medical
journals and sex-friendly publications. It was a term limited to
descriptions of private adult relationships. Never did people link
this behavior to adolescents. Today Professor of Pediatrics Claire
Brindis tells The Washington Post, “…we’re talking about a
social norm. It’s part of kids’ lives.”
If there is any
surprise left about teens and oral sex, it is the surprise that so
many adults and authorities on teen sex now consider oral sex a
normative behavior for teens. It is surprising to hear a radio
listener tell Michael Medved that he would rather have his child
engage in oral sex than sexual intercourse. “Is your child a son?”
Medved asks.
“Yes,” the
caller admits. Medved pursues. Would the caller sanction oral sex if
his child were a daughter? “No, I guess not.”
Dr. Brindis
thinks we should give teens a stronger message about the risks of oral
sex. The surprise here is what she considers the stronger message.
“Maybe we need to do a better job of showing them they need to use
condoms,” Brindis advocates in The
Washington
Post.
Meanwhile, the
poster man and woman for oral sex are making news half way around the
world. As reported on Independent Online, “a rubber company in
China
has begun marketing condoms under the brand names Clinton and
Lewinsky.”
Spokesperson Liu
Wenhua of the Guangzhou Rubber Group, in a pre-sale promotion, was
handing out 100,000 free Clinton and Lewinsky products. Eventually,
when sold in southern China, a box of 12 will cost $3.72 and $2.35
respectively. Liu, obviously a clever marketing strategist, points
out, “The Clinton condom will be the top of our line.”
The big surprise
of the CDC story on oral sex and teens is that there is no surprise.
As we tally up the news stories and commentary, the real surprise is
that we appear to have lost our resolve to consider oral sex a blight
on the sexual innocence of our children and a threat to their health
and welfare.
A father
endorses oral sex for his son because it can’t cause pregnancy.
A health expert
and professor declares our best strategy to counter the fad of oral
sex is to do a better job of teaching teens how to use condoms for
oral sex.
And our nation’s
highest officer, known around the world as a proud proponent of oral
sex as a method of avoiding “sexual relations” and adultery, now has
his own name on a line of condoms in
China.
Where, in all of
this, is the clear and authoritative call to teens, “STOP!”? Clearly,
we have lost our ability to be surprised. But have we also lost our
ability to cry out to our teens with absolute concern for their
emotional and physical health?
Have we sunk so
low that we assuage our pain at seeing young people engage in risky
behaviors by helping these teens justify the risks as manageable and
preferable to making a baby?
Preferring the
path of least resistance, we have abandoned our children because it is
just too much trouble to hold the line of defense for their
protection. The big surprise about teens and oral sex is that there
is no big surprise.
Copyright © 2005 Jane Jimenez
September 10, 2004 -
Duh
October 29, 2004 -
Food for the Brain
See Archives
for more past editorials.
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