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September 26, 2005
What do you
fear? Who can’t identify with Indiana Jones who looks up from the
deep pit he must descend into, a pit writhing in motion, and grumbles
into the camera, “Snakes. I hate snakes.”
Movies have made
millions from cultivating fear of stalkers coming out of the dark to
attack the unsuspecting. This makes a great plot line, but in real
life we have little to fear.
Gavin De Becker
in his bestseller The Gift of Fear dispelled the notion that
human beings are defenseless against random acts of violence. Fear,
he explained, was actually a set of “survival signals that protect us
from violence.”
De Becker is one
of the nation’s leading experts on predicting human violence. As a
three-time presidential appointee, he has advised many of the world’s
most prominent media figures, corporations and law enforcement
agencies on predicting violence.
Casey Gwinn, San
Diego City Attorney, says, “De Becker moves the reader from victim to
victor as he identifies the God-given abilities we all have to avoid
the risks we face from our society’s predators.” The key to De
Becker’s protection plan is fear…welcoming fear as a tool of
prediction and protection.
Using Kelly’s
real-life story of nearly losing her life after a rape, De Becker
leads the reader through key moments where Kelly ignored her intuition
that she was in danger. The man who appeared silently out of nowhere,
the man offering her help she didn’t need or ask for, the man’s
excessive charm, his persistent conversation laden with incredible
details…all of these were clues Kelly buried in her subconscious,
refusing to believe this ordinary man fit her vision of a rapist.
Ignoring the
signs of danger and suppressing her gift of fear nearly cost
Kelly her life. Only by using extraordinary courage and cunning, did
Kelly manage to slip out of her apartment to safety.
Signs of danger
surround us in every aspect of our life. We know to trust our pets
when they perk their ears and become agitated. In Arizona, an eerie
dead calm in the air can signal an approaching violent summer storm.
Years of smoking tobacco should put a person on guard for cancer or
emphysema. Fear of intruders, storms and cancer may engulf us. But
if fear is used as a gift, we are in a position to save ourselves.
So, what about
sex? And what about sex education? Most importantly, what about
fear-based sex education?
The conundrum
needs explaining. If one supports fact-based medically accurate
information about sex, then we must face many unwelcome facts about
sexual liberation. The facts tell one simple truth. We are not
liberated from the consequences of sex.
Yet, the very
people who claim expertise on sex, SIECUS and its allies, are the
first to decry programs that tell the truth about the consequences of
sex. While SIECUS and its allies promote condoms like an all-purpose
band-aid for cuts, broken legs and severed arteries, the truth about
condoms requires a complete presentation of their limitations.
Condoms are not
going to be the savior of sexually active teens. Facts about the
limitations of condoms are supported by research and medical experts
in fully documented reports readily available to the public.
Conscientious teachers have a duty to tell students about incurable
viral STDs, infertility, cervical cancer, and AIDS.
Yet, SIECUS
continues to shame such educators with charges that they are promoting
fear. Education based on medically accurate facts is fear-based?
Shame on you, SIECUS.
Fear, if
properly used, is a gift. It calls our attention to the dangers
around us and gives us the opportunity to avoid those dangers.
Fear is a call
of accountability to those who hold the power of information. It
requires our attention to detail and our full evaluation of all facts
on hand. Crying “fear-based” in the media is no more responsible than
crying “fire” in a crowd.
De Becker says
it well. “Denial has an interesting and insidious side effect. For
all the peace of mind deniers think they get by saying it isn’t so,
the fall they take …is far, far greater than that of those who accept
the possibility. Denial is a save-now-pay-later scheme, a contract
written entirely in small print, for in the long run, the denying
person knows the truth on some level, and it causes a constant
low-grade anxiety.”
Sex and fear?
Not if you are armed with the truth and respect fear as a gift. We
owe a debt of thanks to the educators who respect fear as an
opportunity to talk truth with the children we love.
Copyright © 2005 Jane Jimenez
July 11, 2005 -
Medically Accurate Cowards
"Condoms: What's Still at Risk?"
brochure available from The Medical Institute
www.medinstitute.org
See Archives
for more past editorials.
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