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August 28, 2006
Two and a half
inches, the letters on the top of the front page reach out and grab
passers-bys on the college campus. NEW TIMES.
Although it
proclaims its Times as NEW, the paper is actually over
35 years old, a living legacy from the Age of Aquarius when I used to
grab copies on my way to Psychology 101 on the campus of Arizona State
University. Back then, the cultish paper made its name as a
counter-cultural option to the staid, traditional big city newspapers
like The Arizona Republic.
Now, just one
more cultural mainstay, the New Times holds onto its liberal
traditions while setting standards of journalistic excellence envied
by the mainstream press. This week, the cover story is about a
Phoenix cathedral built by nationally-known Pentecostal preacher Neal
Frisby.
Sarah Fenske’s
story on the stunning Capstone Cathedral belies the newspaper’s
reputation as a stronghold for liberal politics. From page 14 to page
33, Ms. Fenske details a 30-year history of family, fortune and
religion, with the thoughtful journalistic judgment needed to tease
out truth from interviews with a series of rivals in religious
conflict, fueled by family strife and hidden in sealed court
documents.
It’s the kind of
story that might earn Ms. Fenske a well-deserved award. The NEW
TIMES boasts its share of coveted awards in journalism won through
the years.
Still,
respectability is married to the avant-garde. This is the Back 2
School issue. A special pull-out section targets the nearly
60,000 students who inhabit the 700 acre Tempe campus of Arizona State
University. College coeds are told to “forget all that ‘The Wall is
Your Canvas’ crap.” Dry erase boards on dorm room doors are clearly
“childish and unattractive and frankly very 1967.” Opposite the
article, an ad by Vince Lentini screams from the top, “Make Sure Your
Stuff is Insured!”
Under Vince, a
female beauty is tightly laced up in a red bustier. Holding a slice
of watermelon, she winks at the reader. Bold font tells you It’s
Just Sooo…Juicy! Only a careful reader who can tear away
from the buxom beauty will be able to tell that this is an add for
Juicy Jav’s flavored rolling paper available at “your local Convience
[sic] Store or Smoke Shop.”
Triangles is
“your one-stop bikini shop.” One page over, an apparently serious
article on Higher Education quickly launches into its real
topic...reading, writing, and (hic!) drinking games.
The article’s
intro makes it plain. “Some people actually attend college to learn
something, to ensure their future and advance their eventual careers.
For the rest of us, college is all about cocktail hour. Here, then,
are lesson plans for the serious-minded drinker: a primer to the
hottest drinking games being played on campus this semester.”
Games called
Movie Star, A**hole, Name Game, Fuzzy Duck, and Quarters rely on
hooch, rotgut, filthy language, scotch, wine and tequila. Make sure
you have a couple of college coeds. Victory comes when the winner,
depending on the ‘game’ ends up vomiting, passing out, or barfing.
Winners in the Name Game are announced the following day, depending on
who has “the worst hangover.”
Appropriately,
burlesque lingerie is advertised on the facing page…with a dancer
discount! Turn the page, and the full page Bud Light ad seems
incredibly tame, two brown bottles… splashes of icy cold water…Always
Worth It.
If one makes it
through 140 pages of the New Times, they may not be sober
enough to read the back page. But will they care?
After all, there
are no buxom beauties, and all of the 85 adds on the back page are
written in small font. Marijuana Lawyer, sympathetic expert trial
attorney, Cocaine Anonymous. STOP Foreclosure! Don’t WAIT!
WITHDRAWAL…FREE DETOX…FROM ANY ADDICTION. Bankruptcy 4Less. $200…and
more…
Paternity and
Infidelity Testing…30% discount with this ad. HIV 10 Minutes♦$69.
STD Doctor-Viagra-Cialis-Levitra. Criminal & DUI…Little or $0 Down.
Vehicle Cash Loan. All Accidents & Serious Injury.
The times are
not really new. And neither are the consequences of bad choices.
If your student
is entering college this year, it might be worth getting a copy of the
college newspaper to read with your precious child. Just remember to
start reading from the back page.
Copyright © 2006 Jane Jimenez
September 5, 2005
The Gift of Fear
August 27, 2004
Is Your Child Ready for School?
See Archives
for past editorials.
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